Three Imaginary Girls

Seattle's Indie-Pop Press – Music Reviews, Film Reviews, and Big Fun

"Our imaginary glossary of Bumbershoot 2003 terms," Labor Day Weeked, 2003

 

 Ahh, Bumbershoot. Every year we eagerly anticipate the incredible breadth of great shows to review… and every year we get throughly exhausted by the overwhelming possibilities, food lines, and crowds.

So to help you cope with our Bumbershoot 2003 show reviews, dear reader, we've created a top 10 glossary of imaginary bumbershoot vocab terms that best helped us define our Bumbershoot experience…

 

  

 

 

  1. Bumbershite: {adj} Arriving to a show venue to find the line has wrapped around the building and thru the Fun Park.
    Usage: "I should have arrived to the EMP by 1:30p to see Ms. Led in order to see USE at 3:30p in order to see the Long Winters at 5:30p. It was bumbershite — the line for the Long Winters went all the way through the Fun Park by the time I got there."
     
  2. Bumberfucked: {verb} Arriving early to a venue so that you can catch the following band, but being asked to leave so you have to get in line all the way at the back. Note: Bumberfucked can also apply to the bumbernazi's tendency to only let fans in 10-20 at a time, despite the fact that the venue they're entering is only half-filled, as if this were some exclusive LA nightclub where a crowd on the sidewalk would make the club more desirable, versus a bunch of sweaty music enthusiasts who just wanna see a 30 minute show and don't want to wait in a goddamn line for no reason.
    Usage: My friend went to the Thermals only to make sure she got into the What's Next Stage to see Vendetta Red afterwards, but she got bumberfucked by the bumbernazis who forced her to exit the arena to go to the back of the huge line outside.
     
  3. Bumbernazi: {noun} Strict doorguys who patrol the crowds and force people to clear out venues and enter only 20 at a time. They govern their territories with an fondness for a varying set of rules.
    Usage: see "Bumberfucked" above.
     
  4. Bumpershoot: {verb} Refers to the process of weaving and bobbing vertically through the endless path of hungry horizontally-facing folks who stand waiting in line for Cafe Loc Vietnemese food and elephant ears.
    Usage: It took me 20 minutes to bumpershoot my way through the main passageway towards Memorial Stadium because the food lines for Thai food were so long.
     
  5. Blundershoot: {noun} Lame-ass hecklers.
    Usage: Remember that girl who screetched "Flagpole Sitter!!" during the Long Winters show? Right. Her.
     
  6. Bummershoot: {exclamation or noun} Griveous timing or judgment errors regarding Bumbershoot plans, such as sleeping in too late to get to Bumbershoot in time to get wrist-banded for REM/Wilco.
    Usage: igChar slept in too late to catch most of the Thermals show on Sunday. What a bummershoot!
     
  7. Bumberboot: {verb} The Bumbernazis action of denying a Bumbershoot-badged-"Photo Pass"-d photographer entry into a show because his name is not on the list of "approved photographers" for that particular event (at Memorial Stadium) or becuase his photo-pass was not the right color (at EMP). Because of Bumberbooting, our photographer couldn't get photos of the Long Winters or Wilco.
    Usage: Would you believe Ryan got bumberbooted from a Long Winters show?? The bumbernazis wouldn't even let him in to watch!
     
  8. Bumbercoot: {verb or noun} Old folks who grumble about the "way things used to be" at Bumbershoot whilst complaining about high ticket prices and long lines. Note: All TIGs have been know to bumbercoot, or to be bumbercoots.
    Usage: Well I remember when you could get in for the weekend for only $5! And the food lines were short! And people would run around naked!!
     
  9. Bumberbooze: {noun} The lack of real booze at Bumbershoot — aka, the prescence of beer/wine-only bumberbars {and overpriced, bad beer/wine at that…}
    Usage: The bumberbooze situation in the beer gardens was problematic. Why does Bumbershoot conspire to keep me sober!?!? What I wouldn't give for a bumbershot…
     
  10. Bumbershot: {noun or verb} Illicit flask use to circumvent the whole bumberbooze conundrum.
    Usage: Why didn't we think of actually implementing a bumbershot system, as it would have made the bumbernazis and bumbershite so much easier to handle…?
     

Our Bumber-reviews: