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How to Block Party like a kamikaze pilot: day one {Friday, 7/26}

Y'all ready for the solid Block Party they hold every now and then up on that ol' Capitol Hill? It's this weekend, already!

I am going to list a bunch of bands, artists, musicians, sherms, and troublemakers that I plan to peep on and creep up on between walking around a weird big fence in the middle of the whole thing (and sitting on that bench outside the Cha Cha imagining what it's like to live in the apartments above). If you run into me say hi, but please don't run into me because that would probably hurt us both, and I don't slam no more with knees like these. Get ready to toss your mitts to the clouds like you actually have a major concern in your short-lived existence for once, and prepare: 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Gates open at 3 p.m. Don't buy a bunch of stuff people are selling there, because you will have to carry it around for a few hours. (Those were pretty awesome X-Mens and Avengers that one year you hooked me up with tho, Lar Mizell, Jr., I do have to admit.) Do play pranks on the SPD standing around smirking and glaring at the weirdos, as this is the time they will be least likely to taze your arse. 

5:00 – 5:30 p.m: Deadkill at the Vera Stage

A knee-buckling smack hit of Detroit throbbing in Seattle, courtesy of this testosterone-charging panther-pants rawk act. Guitarist Michael Stubz (who also drums for Absolute Monarchs) mechanizes their rock-punk-cum-punk-rock through a set of actual songs and hedgehogging sonic fireworks, soaked in scattered gas and collected bad-boy sweat. Later, the bands' tattoos will jump off their bodies and come down and French kiss everyone in the audience. 

5:45 – 6:45 p.m: Fly Moon Royalty at Neumos

The deejay-emcee-hypeman Action Jackson digs Stevie Wonder and Danny Elfman and DJ Premier, and I have to hear that turntable omelette frying for myself. Meanwhile, a saucy lady named Adra Boo is rumored to belt 'em out sweet and sharp enough to make hippies at Doe Bay cry (or maybe stop crying? I just don't know). Sportn Life was involved? I'm there, I'm a bear, this is my pickanick basket. 

6:30 – 7: 00 p.m: Princess at Barboza Stage

A little early for noise-bomp this heavy and sultry — but I'm eager to have it peel my face off and melt your ear plugs right into your ear holes. They're from Snitches get Stitches, The Keeper, and The Crills, and I imagine I passed out sweating and puking to each of those bands at some point in my show-going younger life-frenzy. Rumor is they're going to make us all take a math test, but I may have heard that wrong (my ears just buzz all the time now).

7:30 – 8:00 p.m: Young Evils at Barboza Stage

Starting out as a rootsy croon crusade on their debut CD, then amping into melodic power pop a-plenty on their recent four song EP, the Young Evils have always been great live and am anxious to see and hear what they're doing now. 

8:15 – 9 p.m: Grave Babies at Neumos

There's something both warmly chilling and icily mesmerizing about Grave Babies; remember that disturbing power ballad Glen Danzig recorded for the Less Than Zero soundtrack? Take a trace feeling from that and integrate it into Happily Ever After-era The Cure. Add some rustic American escaped mental patient barking and cooing, and mainline it with a Satanic-pop hymnal near-drone. Ghost love songs for the teenage graveyard (hence, the band name), perfect make out music for misanthropes. Hardly Art's superstars, don't miss their recent long-playa on that fine, fine label. 

9:45 – 10:00 p.m: Constant Lovers at the Cha Cha

Constant Lovers, bro! CONSTANT LOVERS. Man, it's the gawd-damned CONSTANTINOPLE [email protected]##$ freaking [email protected]#$ LAVAHHHS. I'm going to punch the door guy when he asks for my I.D. and then throw myself down those narrow stairs into the blazing belly of the Cha Cha basement, a blitzkrieg blur of skanking and tanking. Be offended for your girlfriend at my behavior RIGHT NOW to prepare. Listening to Slip It In all week and drinking Tiger Sauce to get ready too, and door guy: bring your brass knuckles. 

12:45 – 1:45 a.m: Daughn Gibson at Neumos

Never heard this dude's debut All Hell yet, but the new gear on Sub Pop is clutch. He's a PA-based truckdriver and on that album Me Moan he sounds like a tough guy who's listened to a lot of cranky Americana bands and sleek goth units, trying to play songs in both genres at the same time. Can't think of a better mix for an after hours-thing to settle down the first Block Party day! Hooray.

(Is KEXP holding their little secret coffee-scented shows this year too? I do not know, and you didn't hear it from me, but that is rumored to be one of the best places to … well, sit on a bag of beans and hear some tunes comfy-stylee.)

Coming up on 7/28: Rose Windows, Youryoungbody, Killer Mike, TacocaT, Dog Shredder, Pickwick and more! Stay tuned. 

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