I’ve been finding myself skipping my “three to see” recs lately because there just hasn’t been ANYTHING worthwhile on the release lists – so I decided to change it up and recommend 3 horrible DVD choices, because who doesn’t love to kick back with some bad movies once in awhile?
Titanic II: You read that right – Titanic, the second. James Cameron is in no way involved (you can tell because it’s not in 3D), and the special effects look like they were created with a budget of $100 – but behold the glory of this straight-to-DVD release! Written, directed, and starring B-movie actor Shane Van Dyke (seriously?), this thing has got to be a total disaster (HA). I’m recommending at least a 6-pack of beer before viewing….and I can only hope they’ll somehow tie in Mega Shark and Giant Octopus.
Dorian Gray: First of all, I LOVE the overly dramatic music opening the trailer. Second of all, I LOVELOVELOVE Colin Firth – but what the hell is he doing in this movie? Oh wait, I don’t care because I’ll watch that guy in anything (confession: I’ve seen both Nanny McPhee and What a Girl Wants. My Colin Firth obsession is that sick). Anyway, The Picture of Dorian Gray is a story I’ve always been fond of, so maybe this will rise above the cheese I see in the trailer? I think it’ll call for a martini or two beforehand, just in case.
Survival of the Dead: I’ve long since given up hope that Romero will turn out anything half as good as the original Night of the Living Dead, or my personal favorite: Dawn of the Dead (1978), but hey, I still respect the guy. This one seems pretty run-of-the-mill with a bunch of military dudes battling feuding townsfolk for refuge form zombies on a remote island, but as long as they give me enough splatter, I’ll dig it. Booze prescription: at least one bottle of wine before pressing play.