Lock up your poseurs! Chunklet Magazine editor-publisher-comedy expert Henry Owings is coming to town, with his iconoclastic, no rock cliche left unoffended "Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans And Bands"!

This Sunday, November 16 at 3 PM the church of hot rock mockery will be held at Sonic Boom on Capitol Hill (514 15th Avenue E.) in Seattle, as Owings, one of the winners of the "100 Biggest Assholes in Rock" (according to Entertainment Weekly), brings his bile and probably a big pile of the essential-to-own little red book to one of our best record stores. 

That's right, "The Rock Bible" is probably the book buy of the year, as it is loaded with probably the best historical run down of popular music ever, before diving into "The Psalm of the Bass Player," "The Wisdom of Onstage Appearance," "The Ten Commandments of Stage Banter," "The Parable Of The Girl Who Misheard Lyrics But Still Insisted On Giving Voice To Song," "The Wisdom of the Pick," and a thousand great jokes about every instrument player and goony fan. (Here's the "Book of the Live Show" in total: 247. Never ever starts on time.") 

You'll feel creepy reading it in public because it looks just like a Bible (unless, of course, um, you're one of those people who "flaunt their scriptures" or something), all old fashioned crimson "Bible-thumping Bible" looking, but if you ever need a zinger for a drummer ("All drummers wearing headset microphones should be required to take a food order") or want to peer into the abyss of the future a la Revelations ("The Buddyheaded Pitchforkagon") it's here for you!

(Also, be aware there is a music scene-satire filled new issue of Chunklet out as well you can probably pick up the same day you see Henry kill some sacred hobnailed rock cows! Reading that hurts you till you laugh all through the holidays and into the new year!)