I recently got rid of my extended Digital Cable, mostly because 99.9% of cable TV sucks. However, I had become very fond of the Food Network, like any good 30-something. Really, the Food Network is like the mid '80s MTV of Food: lots of personalities, on the fringe of blowing up huge and full of a lot of questionable material — and a trend-setter. Some of the personalities I like a lot: Alton Brown appeals to my nerdiness, Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto is a badass while Kat Cora could kick my ass, Guy Fieri is getting larger by the year (size and fame in tandem), Robert Irvine is like watching a wrestler crossed with the cast of Alien3 cook meals and Ina Garten is just plain pleasant. However, I do hate a number of their hosts, namely Giada de Laurentiis (revealing clothes and all), Bobby Flay (you'd be surprised how quickly "California Noveau" grows old when you're in California), Sandra Lee (Anthony Bourdain really indicts her for crimes against cuisine) and, of course, our little pixie of a chef … er, cook … Rachael Ray.

Not only was I accosted with Ms. Ray hocking Gingerbread Donuts at me from my supposed safe haven of Dunkin' Donuts when I was back home in Boston, but now Idolator reports that Rachael Ray loves the Indie Rock. In fact, she has a showcase at SxSW and wants/wanted Battles and Holy Fuck! to play it. Rachael Ray! Battles! I don't know what to think … except maybe "Yummo!"

And now let's compare…

1. Rachael Ray (aka, the sammie from hell)

2. Battles

Yes, they go together like mayonnaise and chocolate on a hot day.