In celebration of the Croc reopening, for some reason, I spent more time than I probably should have this morning thinking about my favorite songs about reptiles. Please note- "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John was a deliberate omission, both for being obvious and trite and for the fact that I hate that high pitched laaaaaaaa-lalalala. Ugh, it's like a drillbit in my ear canal. Yes, I'm sure this makes me a heathen and perhaps, dare I say, a "Cold Hearted Snake" (ooh, ah, ooh, ahhhhhh…)?

What are your favorite songs about rockin reptiles? Here are a few of mine…

1. "Reptiles and Samurai" – Oingo Boingo: Good Lord, what the HELL is going on inside Danny Elfman's head? I want to wear his eyes like binoculars to see. I kind of get the feeling it would be like part Pee-Wee's Playhouse, part Halloween, and all rad.
2. "Welcome to the Jungle" – Guns n' Roses: "My-mm-my-my-my serpetine…" Axl also dances like a snake, so double points… He's a snake who wears t-shirts with Charlie Manson on it, a plaid kilt, and swims with dolphins after jumping off an oil tanker. That's a real special kind of snake. Not even Steve Irwin (RIP) would poke that with a stick.
3. "Baby Got Back" – Sir Mix Alot: I think this line kinda says it all: "But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda, my anaconda, don't want none, unless you got buns, hon!"
4. "Serpentine Pad" – Pavement: Nuff said.
5. "Burn" – Sisters of Mercy: For some reason, I always think of this song when I go to the zoo into the reptile area. Because, really, how does that NOT make sense- "Hey look, a boa constrictor…and early 80's dark wave synth…"
6. "At the Clear Fountain" – MC Solaar: A rapper from Chad, who raps in French! Ooh la la! One of the best lines ever: "Tout se passe comme par passe-passe [everything happens by mere sleight of hand] pour le philantrope du pop [for the philantropic man of pop (music)]"
7. "Substitute" – The Ramones: One of their best. It's actually about something besides being mentally ill.
8. "Karma Chamelion" – Culture Club: I love this song. I feel shame. I am a sucker for anything that you can clap / snap / shake a tambourine to.
9. "Halfsharkalligatorhalfman" – Dr. Octagon: The GREATEST. SONG. EVER. WRITTEN. WITH. REPTILES. IN. IT. Observe: "Walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a credit card. Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard. Transvestites, and people watch space parasites…" What? Exactly! Genius!
11. "Kick the Frama Lama" – Run DMC: One of the more vicious raps these guys ever spat. Kinda love it.