{Let Rachel Flotard of Visqueen take the sting out of your heart. Send your love advice questions her way at loveishard@threeimaginarygirls.com.}
Dear Rachel,
I just met a guy last week, and I'm pretty excited because he seems really kind and sweet and cool. He sent me an email yesterday, asking me to go out to dinner with him the next day — because he had band practice that night (yes, yes, a band guy, ugh). When I talked to him yesterday evening to say yes, I mentioned that I'd be out that night with some friends, and we agreed to meet up. Specifically, he said, "I'll call you when band practice gets out, around 9p."
So guess what happened? That's right, no phone call. I do, however, have this sweet email this morning saying he's excited to go out with me tonight. It also has this half-assed apology ("sorry we didn't hook up, I ended up hanging out with my bandmates").
Am I a total bitch for feeling like, um — APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED?!? I mean, he is supposed to be trying to impress me now, right? Do I let him know I am SO NOT IMPRESSED with this – should I set some baseline rules by telling him that yes means yes, and therefore call means call? Or do I let this go and just go out with him tonight and see if I even like him before I pick our first fight?
I know you will have just the right words to say…
yours,
just say no to band guys?
******************************
Dear JSNTBG.,
Ok, YOU decide what's acceptable and NOT acceptable to you. This ticked you off and rightly so. No one likes to feel forgotten. Don't worry about sounding like a Biznatch, that's someone else's problem.
The Band Dude: ATTENTION, unless you are David Lee Roth, please call after you're done with practice? Because it's really annoying and your band sucks. If the meeting was about breaking the band up, you're excused. I know when I say I'm hanging out with my bandmates it really means I'm gangbanging 25 french ho's. True.
I should have my dad write this one. When I explained a similar situation to him, years ago, and asked why boys act so insensitive sometimes, the only thing I could decipher was this:
"When I was their age, I'd screw a woodpile".
The rest was a blur. Basically, you know what feels right and your reaction tells you so. Keep your eyes peeled. And as my protective little daddy once said: "How many bites of a sh*t sandwich do you need?"
Godspeed, and dump him.
******************************
{When she's not providing solace for the lovelorn, Rachel can be seen and heard playing for her band, Visqueen. But don't let that intimidate you! Send your love woes her way!}