Expletive, expletive, expletive…

OH HELLS NO!

First Tom Waits, now Jeff Buckley?!

Scarlett Johansson must be stopped before she sucks the life out of another beautiful song.

She did a cover of "Last Goodbye," one of Buckley's most beautiful, evocative, theatrical songs and drained it of everything that made it so incredible. The breathy, monotone "sexy" voice, the jazz bar piano, just…no. It sounds like bad Sara Bareilles.

I tried to have a good attitude about it at first, thinking, "Okay, she's got good taste anyways…Maybe this won't be terrible…" It wasn't for the first 30 seconds. After that, the whole track is anemic, for lack of a better word. It was completely exsanguinated, actually. There is no passion, no soul, and nothing exceptional about her voice. She halfheartedly tried to make it her own, but her variation on it wavered between trying to stay in harmony with the original and flattening it at the end where the bulk of the drama of the song occurs. It didn't have to be an exact replica for it to be good, because half the fun of covers are that the artist covering it brings something different them, but in my opinion, if you're going to take someone as beloved as Jeff Buckley and try to make it your own, you better come through with something really special.

This wasn't it.

If she TOUCHES Leonard Cohen, I may have to cut her.

Check it out, if you want some Orwellian 2 minute hate action…