{Let Rachel Flotard of Visqueen take the sting out of your heart. Send your love advice questions her way at loveishard@threeimaginarygirls.com.}

Dear Rachel,

I have two friends, let's call them Maggie and Roger, who I think would be a great couple. They have tons in common and my instincts are really good when it comes to matchmaking. Problem is, two of the the things they have in common: neither of them drink, and they're both painfully shy. I want them to meet and fall in love, but I'm not sure how to orchestrate it without telling them both my schemes, which I'm sure would mortify them both. Any crafty ideas for how I can make the match?

Thanks,

Matchmaker Matchmaker

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Dear MM,

Sounds like these two funstacks need to crank off some steam! And what could be more gratifying than a painfully calculated set up between insane people?

Step one: Write on a piece of paper “I’d rather be Dancing."

Step two: Get a piece of tape.

Step three: Pretend you are hugging “Roger” and adhere this to his back.

Step four: Repeat steps 1-3 using “Maggie” as the subject and edit text to read “I’d rather be Sailing."

Step five: Run.

Step six: Come back 10 minutes later and throw rice.

Or…

You could host a simple dinner party with sparkling wine and fake a heart attack while cutting their food. They will bond over trying to save your life as you spring back to consciousness. Gotcha! In fact, I think Martha Stewart and Oprah fell in love that way.

Like psycho's need pills and kosher's need dills, Maggie and Roger need you to play hide the defibrillator for their own good.

Best of luck, love pusher.

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{When she's not providing solace for the lovelorn, Rachel can be seen and heard playing for her band, Visqueen. But don't let that intimidate you! Send your love woes her way.}