The Eurovision Song contest has always seemed so glamorous and, well, European than shows that fail to pique my interest (like American Idol).

This year's first-runners up, from Ukraine, are… well, words fail me. Here's what imaginary writer the Mad Professor (an exotic European himself) had to say when he sent the link my way:

They look like Tinky Winky on a bad acid trip, or an Umpa Lumpa scene from Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" that was deleted for being too over-the-top. It's so bad it's good!

See for yourselves…