Three Imaginary Girls

Seattle's Indie-Pop Press – Music Reviews, Film Reviews, and Big Fun


Omigod. This number could be the key to realizing my childhood fantasy: appearing on a game show (see also Elimidate Review for further substaniation of this statement).

Omigod. Omigod. Omigod.

Allow me to clarify: they are going to pick two people at random to audition for the next show. Ooh! Me me me!!

Brown shag carpet, iced tea, Cracker Barrel® cheese and Wheel of Fortune. These four things invoke warm memories of evenings at my childhood friend Laura's house. Wheel of Fortune is one of the few "safe from illicit ways" shows on television (Pat Sajak being the posterchild of things Right-Wing Middle-America), so at Laura's parents' house — if "The Big Wheel" was turnin' — all in the house were glued to the TV.

I still dream of someday winning my own ceramic dalmation and think it is cheating that everyone gets RSTLN E right off the bat in the bonus round. I am so excited that the Wheel of Fortune powers that be decided to tape their "Sweeps Week" episodes here in Seattle. Obviously, I am in complete agreement with igDana; this afternoon at the Washington Convention Center with Pat and Vanna is going to be magical.

Ok, I was kidding about wanting to be a contestant earlier… but now faced with the possibility of appearing on the show, I am giddy with excitement and nervous as hell.

I suspect the blandly handsome official-looking guy in the front may be scouting for talent. I mean, will they really let just any yo-yo from the audience on national TV… on "WHEEL OF FORTUNE?" {read as: pick me!}

Not me. I'm not nervous. I've always dreamed of standing behind the yellow lit triangle yelling "P" (huhhuh) at the top of my lungs.

It was because of the possibility of being in such close proximity to greatness that we rallied our troops (all four of them) and headed to the taping two hours before cameras started rolling.

The two-hour wait isn't so bad. They are mixing in some "unpredictables" in the pumped in radio (i.e. Scandal's "Goodbye to You") and we get to take in the mini-Seattle that serves as the background for the set.

I LOVE the mini-Seattle: the mini-Space Needle (with blue accent paint — I guess the intern did his Space Needle research a little too far out) — mini-Monorail, mini-office buildings. The set is SO CUTE!

My friend Lawrence (who is sitting next to me) said, "I'm a little disappointed that the mini-skyline isn't as impressive as the real-life one. That set makes it look like Ft. Wayne, Indiana or something."

(note: now they are playing Loverboy's "Everybody's Working for the Weekend")

The mini-monorail against the city, in the scale of this set, makes our monorail system look HUGE. Did the Prop #I-53 peeps coordinate this with the set builders?

Hmmm… I am a bit dismayed to see that Wheel. It looks tiny. Is that the road-Wheel?

The camera must add ten feet. (note: Lawrence retorted, "I hope they film me naked." Take that, Pat!)

Also in attendance is haiku contest winner Zach, who explains that, "The vowel has been devalued since they began trading on the NASDAQ." He then added, "If I get picked, I want to wear some sort of mask."

Wouldn't it be funny if when they have us (the audience) yell out "Wheel of Fortune" at the beginning of the show we all yell out "Wheel of Feces?"

igLiz, did you sneak in a flask?

No, just goofy with excitment. The tension is building in here. They are taping "College Week;" The UW Marching Band (or at least the first chairs thereof) are playing "Celebration," the UW cheerleaders are jumping around and Charlie O'Donnell (the announcer and communicator of the lovely parting contestants' prizes) is doing his "Don't-yell-out-the-answer" spiel and asked the band, "Did you come to party with us this afternoon?"

Yep, things are gonna start happening to me now…

Where is Mt. Rainer in the skyline? I'm thirsty. I can't believe they didn't let us bring drinks in and yet they still don't have an espresso or juice cart in here.

Did someone just yell "PAT!" in a crazy super-fan yelp? I think we might be the only people who walked here.

There aren't any Cha Cha folks here, that's for sure.

OK. We just got the scoop: The three shows they are taping today are going to air November 11th, 12th and 13th. Mark your calendars.

SHOW 1 of 3 that they are taping today: The three contestants.
#1 Frat guy. Where's the enthusiasm, Marsh?
#2 Peppy. Says "woohoo" after every statement. Hers or anyone elses.
#3 The only tolerable one of the bunch.

Pat looks like a muppet.

Vanna is dressed in a floor length red dress. Most likely a name brand.

Pat's Right-Wing Middle-America showman skillz take form in the comforting retort, "It was before your time for goodness sake."

Self-confidence crisis averted! T.G.F.P. (Thank Goodness for Pat)

And the ending to this Show 1 of 3 adventure? The Nga takes home $33,450.

Yea, the girl who guessed "Marthanon" just won $33k. That's fair.

In between shows we get the treat of "hanging out" with Charlie O'Donnell (the announcer) again. We are all convinced that he is the evil Santa.

He is working his way around the room answering stupid questions with pervy answers. Ew.

He stops at a fellow who introduces himself as Jory Halperin, who asks the greatest question ever:

"Charlie, if you were a hot dog and you were really, really hungry. I mean, really hungry. Would you eat yourself?"

It is at this point the glassy-eyed (make your own brownie reference here) Beta Theta Pi boy (he was proudly sporting the Greek letters) is heartily patted on the back by one of his "brothers" as Charlie makes his way backstage.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jory Halperin: our WOF hero.

Now on to show 2 of 3… we clap for hours (or at least 15 minutes) as they fly cameras overhead, forcing us to ostentatiously smile and nearly resort to "Girls Gone Wild" strategies to see our face on the huge TV screen stationed by the front of the stage.

I'm exhausted. I should have realized this was going to be an all day event and packed better. But they wouldn't have let us bring in coffee or Top Pot donuts anyway. It is a System of a Down.

SHOW 2 of 3 that they are taping today: The thr
ee contestants.
#1 Peppy UW gal. Classic girl next door. Her contribution to my life? She answers Pat's inquiry as to why she is a Liberal Arts major with, "I wanted the whole package." I'm not going to let that go one for a couple hours. (But, shhh, don't warn the others.)
#2 Nice guy named Devin who has a huge smile. He has to be an R.A. My money is on him.
#3 Good guy. After #1 and #2's introductions, he looks like he's thinking "How did I get here?".

I think Pat's hair may be fake.

Vanna is dressed in a smashing brown pantsuit. Most likely a name brand.

By the looks of that pantsuit, I guess they heard we're a little more casual here in the Northwest.

The best part of this round: Miss "Wants the Whole Package" spins the wheel for the first time. Then she says, "I'd like to buy a vowel." But she has no money yet. So Pat retorts, "You can't even afford a stick of gum right now."

Pat hates his job.

I love Devin. We all love Devin. Lawrence loves Devin. Devin is great. Yay! He won the car.

We're so hungry… 1 more show taping to go.

SHOW 3 of 3 that they are taping today: The three contestants.

#1 The most mean-spirited contestant yet. I swear he just mouthed the word "FUCK" when he hit bankrupt. He is a pre-law student.
#2 I don't remember much about this person. My blood sugar is crashing.
#3 Who, what…#3? How long have we been here? We're on hour #5!

I think they built the mini-seattle to make Pat and Vanna look tall. They are wee ones.

Vanna is dressed in a flashy Vegasesque white/cream number with a horrendous necklace. Most likely a name brand.

I think this is my favorite Vanna outfit of the day. It is a strappy, long, elegant, pearly colored thing.


Nothing to say. Nope. Just hungry.

How dare they make "Grammy winner Alanis Morrisette" a puzzle!

I love it when the puzzles contain dashes and ampersands. It makes it a little more interesting.


Wow, that "Fuck" guy ended up winning enough to go to the "Bonus Round." Darn, he's a jerk. I guess they all can't be like Devin.


Eww. He just said, "I can smell it" (he was referring to the Bonus Round envelope with the name of his prize inside).

I'm glad he lost.