Three Imaginary Girls

Seattle's Indie-Pop Press – Music Reviews, Film Reviews, and Big Fun

{Let Rachel Flotard of Visqueen take the sting out of your heart. Send your love advice questions her way at [email protected].}

Dear Rachel,

Do you ever have a band that everyone seems to love but you just can't stand? For me that band is Coldplay. I just can't stand that guys phony, whiny, stupid-ass, derivitive voice! Anyhow, my guy *loves* Coldplay, and keeps playing them as "mood" music. (He doesn't know how much I can't stand them). I really like this guy, but I fear that if I tell him I don't like the band he'll be all offended (not just because he wouldn't like my taste, but because we've been intimate to "Parachutes" on more than one occasion). But I really don't want to have to keep making out to Coldplay.

*Shiver* What would you do "In My Place"?

Signed,
Frustrated by Rushes of Blood to the Head

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Dear FBROBTTH,

Can't take the Cold, you need to burn down the igloo. As much as I hate to turn off VH1 smack in the middle of his REI fantasy of jogging slo-mo on wussbag beach. Ahoy.

Subtly suggest to DJ Sensitive Bedflames that you'd like some Lou Rawls instead. I guarantee that Gwyneth Paltrow, impregnated by the entire band and management team of Coldplay, feels like a little Foghat right about now. Imagine the stagnation. Her make-outs are probably sanctioned by Oprah but sponsored by AT&T and Bono.

Should this not make one bucky dent in your lover's mood music, just start keying his record collection.

 

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{When she's not providing solace for the lovelorn, Rachel can be seen and heard playing for her band, Visqueen. But don't let that intimidate you! Send your love woes her way!}