Three Imaginary Girls

Seattle's Indie-Pop Press – Music Reviews, Film Reviews, and Big Fun

{Let Rachel Flotard of Visqueen take the sting out of your heart. Send your love advice questions her way at [email protected].}

Hi Rachel,

I am currently dating a really great guy. He might even be 'the one.' But, for some reason, I keep reading my ex-boyfriends' blogs. I have two exes and they both have blogs. Is it so bad to keep tabs on what those two boys are doing on a daily basis? For some reason it's just so interesting to see what they are into and where they are listening to. I have no intention of ever commenting on their blog or making plans to ever see them again. I just like to see what they do with their days.

Do I need to break the habit? And if so, how can I stop typing in their URLs?

Thanks,
Blogs are sEXy

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I actually had to read this a couple times to see what the problem was.

Congratulations. Your daily routine is just a desensitized luxury that comes with 2007, and feeling obsessive about it is the new black. Thanks, NASA.

We’ve come a long way from dragging our hideous stalker knuckles around on the ground. Way-back-when, chicks were forced to ride past ex-boyfriends houses like headless horsemen from the O.C., all wiretaps and cat fights. Today instead of SlimJimming his car window to find papers and underpants, you can open it in a browser from work and not look like the elephant man.

I remember the day blogs hit. My lazy boy spun around and the words “live journal” sprayed in my head like “live animals” stenciled in drippy Buffalo Bill murder paint. What Mummenschanz posse of Goddess Kring’s were trying to flash fry my balls with this insipid technology.

Well, I overreacted. And the lord struck me down with a lazy eye and I changed with the times. You are no stage 5 loon and you love your boyfriend and it isn’t your fault. It’s like giving out free pork chops to people whose pork chops took off.

Eventually Braveheart, as your own daily details grow infinitely more newsworthy, twirling in your guilt-kilt will exhaust itself like Heather Mills.

Next time you need a URLs fix, reach for the soothing, methadone powers of YRLs.

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{When she's not providing solace for the lovelorn, Rachel can be seen and heard playing for her band, Visqueen. But don't let that intimidate you! Send your love woes her way!}